Loosing your head? 9 sanity checks to keep you from a nervous break down
When HarusiYangu.com asked me to write for them I had to scratch my head for inspiration. Seriously have no idea about weddings, been to a few granted, but never really been big on the wedding planning front. Well there is a little story to that, I was forced to wear Sare once and sadly it went very very wrong, I looked like a pumkin, the dress was uneven, the fundi cheleweshad the nguo weee hadi I couldnt do fitting, the results were not inspiring. But it wasnt my big day so l (if there are any drama mamas who are out there to outdo the bride listen to this piece of advice!) I vowed to swallow my anger, smile for the camera, be nice and supportive to the bride, and wring the tailors neck afterwards! Boy I looked horrible, but I wore a smile and ignored the horrendus dress I had on. It worked, afterwards I had so much fun and couldnt really be bothered to follow through with my ill thinking to punish the tailor. It was too much trouble and besides the guy probably already has a few more angry customers like me who are wishing to do him what I did. So I decided to get inline and let some other sucker do my dirty work. How is this of any use to you guys? Where here is the moral of the story incase you have missed it throughout, and no, its not about the tailor, or the sare, its about attitude. You are bound to face soo many more disturbing mishaps on your way to the alter, you are almost guaranteed to find a million and one things that will go wrong. Here is my advice to you that sometimes, and I insitist that I only said sometimes, works for me.
Get practical, what can you do now?
If the incidence occurs indoors and you think your mother in law will hear your temper tantrum and you dont want her to think his son is going to marry a maniac which ofcourse you probably are but its not public knowledge yet and for all our sakes we hope that revelation is delayed until your 50th anniversary but anyhow we cant hope for too much. Smile politely to your mama inlaw, look at whoever looks like they are determined to ruin your wedding, think what can we do now, save your energy on strarting a row, showdown, hips on the waist or teeth to work scenario. What can you do to salvage the situation? Get practical, you save time and you can get angry later.
Grab a friend and go out for nyama choma
For those of you who are allowed to eat mbuzi katoliki, there is nothing that will calm the nerves like the succulant taste of whatever choice of nyama choma with chipsi vumbi, seriously! There are somethings in life that are not free but cheap enough to be worth that extra penny.
Hit the gym
ahem, this is not purely my strategy, but honey I have heard from the grapevine that the gym is great for your wedding dress potential. I know this somehow can sound kithungu sana, but go get angry at a machine, it wont sue you, you get to work your energy out and stay fit enough to sneak up to that horrible, caterer, wedding planner, whoever that you need to do the jackie chan on afterwards. Second reason for hitting the gym, it get you fit enough for asali mwezi if you know what I mean? ;-)
Oh, go shop for sexy lingerie
Often times people buy the shoes, the dress, shawl, but forget the all essential item...yes kufuli, interesting nguo za kusitiri for lack of better swahili translations. Seriously sisters, I feel super hot when I am wearing something sexy underneath. You need to stock up on these for your asali mwezi and make a habit of buying new ones each month, these things dont need to last for eternity, infact if you get a good variety and change now and again, you are guaranteed to keep your partner interested. ..for eternity. Shame on you if you didnt do this before anyway, self confidence comes from within, lets start here if you havent got your inner soulful spiritual stuff sorted out yet(we dont have time for therapy this is a quick brushup!
ps. buy your friend a pair, its a nice small gesture to say thank you for supporting you though your demanding wedding prep. If you hadnt thought about this, shame on you! You dont deserve her and yes you are ungrateful and selfish!
Get a pedicure, Facial, Hair done , manicure...the works
Makes you feel great, when that Ugandese guy who claims to be from Bukoba gives you one of those interesting footscrubs, it stimulates your blood flow and gets your circulation going. You feel clean, sometimes a little scratched and raw but its a great way to relax. Otherwise go for that papaa who makes you look like a million Tsh.
Ok so all the above things cost money. What can you do that will cost nothing since you are running on a tight budget with the wedding prep and all?
Katunze Bustani, safisha nyumba
For those of you who keep a small patch of land somewhere, go clean up those migomba, do something physical, do things around the house, tend your flower patch. These things give you a great sense of achievement and makes you feel in control of your destiny again.
Go visit that Bibi with a great sense of humuor
You know that one crazy friend that gets you tickled in ways that you dont always find with others. Go and laugh out loud. This doenst have to be someone your age, sometimes it could be that crazy granmother who had an eventful life that you meant to visit for but never got around to with your busy schedule. Kill two birds with one stone.
Go to church, mosque, the temple
If you arent religious go to a place that keeps you centred. Gives you time to reflect and restore a positive attitude to things. Prayers and meditation calms your mind and gives you a warm positive feeling that the higher powers are taking care of you and your wedding plans.
The best bit....downtime with your sweatheart.
Yes you may all be running around like headless chicken. Mad busy but now and again, take time to enjoy, plan a date. I didnt say a planning meeting where you discuss all the nitty gritty details. I said a DATE , where you romance each other, enjoy the perks of your wonderful relationship and keep the fire sizzling before your big day comes across. Aah by the time your date is over, when asked about the tailor, I doubt you will remember their name...mmmmh
Keep your attitude positive, the wedding is important but the person you are sharing it with is more so. So dont lose the reason you have the wedding in the first place. Keep things in perspectives and if all these tips fail...take a pillow cover your mouth and screaaaaaaaam!